Thursday, February 4, 2010

If a tree falls in a forest...

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?"

It's a philosophical question for the ages that has bled over into quantum mechanics. As a Cynic, this type of twaddle occupies a determinable and invariable state - typhos. Needless distraction from the more basic things in life, like vandalising currency or thwapping your penis on a bar when the waitron would rather file her nails than notice you're waiting for another beer.

But with a bit of lateral thinking, the question also poses some interesting possibilities. Like: If a necrophile drains his nutsack while on the job at the morgue and nobody knows, does it really make any difference ?

Morgue worker sentenced to three more years in prison for corpse sex

Sandra Williams was devastated in 1991 when her sister, Charlene Apling Edwards, was killed.

Williams dealt with the grief for years before being told of an even more nightmarish crime – her sister’s body was sexually assaulted by a Hamilton County morgue worker as it was awaiting autopsy.

“I thought burying my sister was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do,” she told Hamilton County Common Pleas Court Judge Nadine Allen. “I thought we could just put it behind us and lay it to rest, but when this happened, I re-lived her death all over again.”

Of course there's photo goodness.

“This” was one of two counts of gross abuse of a corpse for which morgue worker Kenneth Douglas was sentenced Tuesday. In all, Douglas pleaded guilty to having sex with three corpses when he worked at the morgue from 1976-92.

Douglas was sentenced to three years in prison Tuesday for having sex with the corpses of Apling and Angel Hicks. That’s in addition to the three-year prison term imposed on him in 2008 after he pleaded guilty to having sex with the corpse of Karen Range who was murdered in 1982. He had sex with Range’s corpse which was bloody, its head almost severed and had been stored in the morgue cooler for hours.

And so it waffles -

The judge said Douglas’ crimes were depraved.

“There’s a reason we say ‘the dearly departed, may they rest in peace.’ What happened he isn’t even primitive. It’s depraved and inhumane,” the judge said.

With the obligatory, and irrelevant, appeal to emotion from the sister of one of the deceased in an attempt to influence sentencing -

“He raped a five-months pregnant dead woman,” Apling, now in his mid-20s, said.

Ignoring the whole debatable "consent" issue, being "pregnant" while being "dead" hits a logical fallacy jackpot.

The sister was traumatised, of this there is no doubt. Probably for life. Don't need some junior court reporter to arrive at that conclusion for us. But like the tree in the forest, what benefit does it actually serve the sister being made aware of it ? A pervert that hasn't actually harmed anyone gets sent to the big house to a life surrounded by people that have genuinely, often violently, invaded and damaged peoples lives. She is left with poisoned memories that can't be repaired. And people like me stumble upon the story and compulsively have to share. All could have been avoided with a bit of delicacy and tact. It is, strictly speaking, a victimless crime. Instead, thanks to concerned citizenry, there is trauma all round.


* Main image credit: Still from Jörg Buttgereit's rather excellent Nekromantik, the touchingly sad story of a love triangle between a boy, a girl and a corpse.

* From "Although assumed rare, many have argued that necrophilia may be more prevalent than statistics imply, given that the act would be carried out in secret with a victim unable to complain and given the length of time which the paraphilia has been recognized [...] As with most sexual anomalies, the cases reported in the literature have actually involved males between the ages of 20 and 50 with occupations that provide ready access to corpses: gravediggers, mortuary attendants, orderlies, etc. Most individuals have been reported to be heterosexual."

* For anyone that thinks necrophilia is a boys only adventure, there's always Karen Greenlee.

* Herodotus wrote of the Egyptians some two and a half millenia ago: "When the wife of a distinguished man dies, or any woman who happens to be beautiful or well known, her body is not given to the embalmers immediately, but only after the lapse of three or four days. This is a precautionary measure to prevent the embalmers from violating her corpse, a thing which is actually said to have happened in the case of a woman who had just died."

* And for an Indian engrish point of view, filed under "Kama Sutra" (!): "The Dead Corpse Can Fantasize Physical Pleasure" [link]

Monday, January 18, 2010

The poetry of Fat Fuck Frank


I can't remember when I first ran across Fat Fuck Frank. I certainly know where - Pirate Bay, generally the first port of call for anyone discovering the wonderful world of torrents. He thrusts himself into your consciousness in a manner that the numerous other regular denizens there do not - you find his name sticks and is impossible to forget. Firstly, the sheer volume of uploads he has contributed over the years makes it unavoidable. Secondly, the extreme difficulty of getting any of his torrents to actually work - the seed count is always low and from mostly erratically connected hosts. Not surprising, I don't think many people would want to be openly associated. But the most memorable thing of all are FFF's torrent descriptions. The prose is unique, perhaps poetry is more fitting - it lilts with a style and elegance all it's own, rarely if ever actually being accurate of which it speaks. FFF is a latter day bard, a wordsmith of unwitting charm and wit. So, pour yourself a tin mug of something seriously over-proof, light up a cheap stogie and kick back and relax with the poetry of Fat Fuck Frank...

+ Tonys first footjob.mpg

Black Tony enjoying his first taste of white slut feet before going to the unemployment office to pick up his $50 check which he will use to purchase cheap wine in a box

+ Amputee - Brittney.mpg

Amputee teen slut proving her mad hairy pussy even with 1 leg is more desirable then your drunken mother on a warm summer night

+ Stretching her Nipples and Labia.......FFF

in order to satisfy her wife-beating husband, Mary decides to surprise him by stretching her nipples & labia; husband wasn't impressed and decided to beat her silly again.  Mary needs to think outside of the box

+ The entire 1800 Photo collection of dead women

When it's dead that means it's yes

+ kinky thai dog scat.mpg

Thai teen slut looking forward to tossing her neighbor's pet dog salad

+ Dead SLuts 4...FFF

When all the facts are known, FFF will be found innocent

+ Wild Orchid Oma.avi

Granny getting her share of double cock meat sandwich to keep her mad hairy pussy lubricated

+ Chub Dad With Tranny.avi

Chubby hairy douche dad having fun with shemale relatives

+ Cuckolded At Master's House.mpg

Black stranger walks into home and proceeds to fuck slut wife who taunts douche husband who's too afraid to say anything impolite to the black man who is fucking his slut wife's mad hairy pussy

+ Dear Lorenzo Histories.mpg

Fat black cellulite overflowing crack hos getting fucked like sheep in New Zealand on a winter starry night

+ German balloon fetish.mpg

Dressed German sausage eating bitch in a room full of colorful balloons is your only choice when Piratebay burst like a cheap China maded cum filled condom   

+ Amateur private orgy

Just a bunch of people having sex, no animals involved

+ Young Indian Woman With Horse.mpg

Rare glimpse of Indian arranged marriage ceremony with neighbor's filthy horse

+ MILF Market Mom.mpg

A mom so hot your 5 year old brother would cum all over her with his baby dick and then finish the bitch off with a baby cum facial

+ Yvette Bova.Desiree Ellis (Villa Pool Chair).mpg

2 black muscle bound freak sluts attacking each others man size clits like hungry gorillas fighting over one over riped banana in a decrepit Russian zoo lacking donations form its drunken visitors

+ The Best Hand Job Of My Life.avi

Goth teen tattooed slut giving emo blowjob to depressed douche boyfriend

+ Assman 12 - Monica Sweetheart.mpg

Monica likes to have 2 cocks at one time due to low self esteem issues

+ Feet 2 Young Teens.avi

2 hot barely legal teens sucking & licking feet/toes because they don't want to be labeled as carpet munching dykes by their parents

+ Good Fuck After Beer.mpg

Russian slut drunk on cheap Chechen beer gets fucked by 1st cousin

+ Indian Slut Nadia Nyce.mpg

Nadia the Calcutta slut getting fucked like vegetarians who can't eat the sacred cows shitting on their front porches

+ Perfect Ladyboys - Eyrika.avi

Eryka is so cute you wish it was your sister so you could have it's cock in your mouth imagining it to be a mad hairy pussy

+ Teenboycumparty.mpg

Old clip of teenboy activity experimenting with gay cock sucking fun, teen has now grown up to be head priest at local church

+ Spikey Shoe Job.avi

Sushi eating jap sluts spiky shoe revenge on smelly tuna fish salesman douche

+ Blatino Power (Interracial Bareback).mpg

Black & white cocks getting together to break down the racial walls of injustice; highly recommended viewing by Rev. J. Jackson

+ Scatboy Kaviar Kitchen.mpg

Scatboy dressed in in high heels & painted toenails looks in his frig, nothing good to eat, decides to take a dump on his kitchen floor and then eats it

+ Toilet man.mpg

Douche picks up chick at local whore bar; she eats bad potato salad, while he's tossing her salad, she shits in his mouth; oops!!

+ Delicious Feet.mpg

Sweet fragrant delicious fungus free Lesbian feet for your pleasure

+ Mfx-Secret diaper fantasy.mpg

Nasty Brazilian anal loving lesbians now with bowel problems requiring them to wear adult diapers